Social anxiety is the fear of being judged or criticized by others in social situations. This is not simply being shy; lots of people are shy but not anxious. People suffering from social anxiety tend to avoid being around people all together, to avoid the possibility of embarrassment. This can really disrupt someone’s life quite significantly if not addressed. It can make someone feel very alone or powerless.
Luckily, social anxiety can be overcome with perseverance and practice. Here are some tips that can help you if you are someone struggling with this common problem.
Be yourself.
Don’t try to pretend you are someone you’re not. Not only is it unfair to you, but it’s also difficult to keep up with the charade. This will cause even more anxiety to the situation because acting like a different person is hard to keep up with. Besides, you don’t need to act like someone else to be interesting. You are already interesting as you are. Own it.
Ask questions.
Sometimes it can be hard to think of things to talk about. The best way to keep a conversation going is to ask the other person a lot of questions about themselves (News flash: People love to talk about themselves!). If you can’t seem to think of a question naturally in conversation, here are some ideas to keep things moving:
– What kind of music do you like?
– Have you seen any good movies lately?
– Have you read any good books lately?
– What do you think of (recent current event)?
– What do you like to do for fun?
– Do you have any pets?
– Do you have brothers or sisters?
– Any plans for the summer?
Keep breathing.
Taking short, shallow breaths sends a message to the brain that says, “I’m very nervous.” The brain reacts by tensing up the rest of your body and causing anxiety-like symptoms. Breathing slowly, deeply and steadily will keep you feeling calm. It also helps your stomach if you are someone who experiences an upset stomach with anxiety. The movement of your diaphragm as you breathe actually massages your stomach and helps keep nausea at bay.
Practice.
Regular exposure to these uncomfortable situations is terrific practice for overcoming social anxiety. The more you do it, the more you will see there is nothing to be nervous about. Your confidence will improve as you realize you are a fun and interesting person to be around and talk to. Eventually you will get to a point where you can socialize with nearly anyone at anytime.
Don’t overthink.
Sometimes we over-analyze something we did or said in a social situation and feel embarrassed or ashamed about it later. It can be easy to obsess about those things when in reality nobody else ever even noticed it. We tend to be our own worst critics, and so we criticize the things we do or say in front of others. Rest assured. Odds are good that everyone thinks you are delightful to be around.
If you feel afraid to take the steps to overcome social anxiety, it’s very understandable. You are making yourself do something you are rather uncomfortable doing. Just remember to keep breathing, think positively, and keep your eyes on the prize –- a florishing and fearless social life.
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